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sinusoids

by landmammal

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1.
yellow rooms 00:56
i came down, you were gone high from bleach on the walls the room shook i couldn't stand yellow smoke stained my hands you passed out, i stood still cleaned the floor, took headache pills dreaming while you stayed asleep watching while i drank bleach and a bottle of peroxide and seven root beers and forty-five kitchen chairs what am i doing here?
2.
that stench, how it seeped, how it leaked to the street because it was wet and open wide, so rotting and sweet that spit on my lips, tongue melting the slit but i freaked, she didn't speak, her bones they started to creak i raised my head, she was dead, oh her eyes how they bled in the car it was dark, the garage where we parked the walls shook and grew soot, i don't know how long it took the stench grew and then i knew that it would kill me too
3.
my allergies 00:59
my allergies, i can't breathe my allergies, i can't breathe and now i know that we can never be because whenever we touch yeah i have to sneeze my bad knee, you socked me my bad knee, you socked me  and now i know that we can never be because whenever we dance yeah i lock and freeze my kidney, one only my kidney, one only and now i know what we can never be because whenever we kiss yeah i start to bleed
4.
we spend time on couches in lutheran church parking lots with thin sunburnt eyelids and faces all plastered in smiles and shiny molars (not worrying of food poisoning) as we scarf down the treats brought to us by grannies now i know i'm not young but look at my kneecaps: they're torn up and bleeding like i tripped in the sandbox i wish i was with you we'd be laughing at the weather and trying our hands at guessing men's shoe sizes wanting to be sleeping, but okay with the air being hotter than those girls with their grade-seven fresh bodies now i know i'm not young but look at my underarms: could i even be this nervous if i'd ever felt lust before? i still know the rules to marbles and pogs and i like the expressions of preteens as i beat them with my plastic you tell me i'm lewd and kiss my nude abdomen  as we lay in your bed in the dampness of the summer now i know i'm not young but look at my lips move: have you ever seen lies formed so quick and so golden? now i know i'm not young but look how my tongue is tied: i can't even speak out loud these foul things that i've been feeling please come and sit with me on the couch in god's parking lot and i'll move one seat over so we don't have to touch at all
5.
heat dome 00:51
you and i walked out victoria on a tuesday during sundown we were gonna run the train bridge while the heat dome sank around us but you started and i balked; i made you stop, i couldn't do it i no longer have a death wish like i did when i was eighteen yeah i don't know if i could lose this: you and me and all our wavelength i no longer have a death wish like i did when i was eighteen
6.
the columbian boy made me do it he first touched me in calculus class yeah i couldn't resist his chlorine kiss  and his poison ivy rash then he ate all my freestone peaches left his bruises on my thighs yeah he waited for me by the car factory and put his fingers into my insides when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep when you leave i can't sleep
7.
we sat on the steps of your back porch the air was of tulips and thorns i peeled your sunburn in the half-light lawnmowers and aeroplanes droned the driveway was oil-stained lava, your feet making quick haiku poems  i heard the funnel cloud coming for me, i heard screams, storms, gold bicycle bells the whirring, saccadic MRI machine i turn all the clocks back an hour, and pulled all the petals from me, i heard pistons, gaskets, your keys as i tried to prevent you to leave you can't leave, you are not named

credits

released March 17, 2012

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landmammal Kitchener, Ontario

we died.

peter: shapes
kay: columbian boy
james: WHAAT
alexander: 1-2-3-4

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